Where are you having to persevere at present? And what helps you?
Think of a challenging situation that you are facing just now. It might be challenging in a good way, such as learning a new skill or studying for a qualification or coursework. Or perhaps it might be a much harder ongoing challenge. Perhaps a difficult relationship with a partner, friend or co-worker, some hardship facing someone you love, or an entrenched obstructive situation at work. Whatever way you look, there are blockages and obstacles, and you are struggling to see a way forward. Frustration, weariness, emotional and mental fog ensue.
This of course is closely linked to not giving up, something I was musing about a few weeks ago. You can read that here.
I think that the fruit of not giving up is learning to persevere. We learn how to persevere in a situation where we might be tempted to give up, and in so doing gain strength of character and also succeed. Now that success might not look like what we initially thought in the situation, but that is where learning to self reflect along the way is so important. More in a mo.
Of course, perseverance has a much broader context. Sometimes giving up is not an option. Physical illness. Mental health issues. Difficult social circumstances. Injustice. Back to those entrenched situations at work.
I am at an age and stage in life where the challenges and situations faced by peers are complex and multi-factorial and unlikely to change any time soon. Teenagers and all associated joys and woes. Ageing parents. Health concerns. Relationship dynamics. Increased responsibility at work and in leadership roles. Huge restrictions because of the system, whatever that system is.
Sometimes the weight of it seems heavy indeed. And perhaps the tone of this week’s musings reflect the gravity of that.
Someone wise wrote that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope. In the midst of suffering, that might be the last thing that you want to hear. A bit along the lines of the Great British stiff upper lip – chin up old boy, you’ll get through this.
Humpf.
But we can all think of experiences where this wisdom has been borne out. Times when it has been awful, hard, just plain grueling but we have persevered. We have stuck it out, come through it and see that along the way we have indeed gained understanding of ourselves and grown in character. We see we can persevere and that inspires us and empowers us to persevere again. And we model something very important to those around us.
That wisdom by the way – the suffering-perseverance-character-hope cycle -that was Paul, in the book of Romans in the Bible. A fair few years ago now right enough but to me, still holds true and is worthy of some reflection.
What helps us persevere?
Because this is what is needed in here, in order to turn the tone of this post around into something more positive.
- being clear about WHY this is important – what is the desired outcome and why is that worth pursuing or fighting for? Stepping back from the precipice to self-reflect every so often.
- this is linked to our motivation – what is going to help us keep going day in day out, and where can we give ourselves prompts? [old post about this here with a cheesy title, but it is part of a bigger series on steps to happiness and does not suggest that our motivation should always be our happiness!]
- practice is often required, especially if we are persevering with learning a new skill or implementing a new habit. I observed to a good friend recently that I have been blogging (almost) weekly for six and a half years. 307 blogs. Phew. He was slightly stunned. And if I stop and think about it and allow myself a wee minor celebration, I am really chuffed at that achievement. A recent client commented on how important it was to her that my website is up to date, as evidenced by my blog. But goodness, how my style and confidence have changed over those years! [here’s an early one on perseverance – the themes have not changed much!] However I can see that I have persevered, learned, tried things out, and gained confidence and a voice.
- self care is crucial, especially in really tough situations where we have to persevere. Understanding our limits – more on this here – taking time to restore our souls, being kind to ourselves on darker days.
- and more than anything, someone to persevere alongside us. I believe strongly that we were not meant to live this life alone, as islands of independence and self-reliance. In our struggles, there is strength in letting someone else in and asking them to walk beside us and be strong when we think we cannot go on. Raving fans who believe in us and with us and who cheer us on.
Cherish them, thank them, let them love you.
And who can you come alongside this week in their struggles and hold them up when they are feeling face down in the mud? Who can you offer yourself to persevere with?