What kind of person do you model?

When you were a kid, what did you want to do? Become an astronaut? A rockstar? Travel the world? Make a fortune?

But perhaps more importantly, who did you want to be? And who was a good role model to you?

I doubt if there was as much focus at school on your character development as there was on your academic progress and career prospects. But at the end of the day, surely the people that we are matters most: this ties back to death bed regrets. Would we most want to be known for our business achievements and financial success, or our integrity and kindness? Of course the two are not mutually exclusive – that is nonsense.

But this quote, shared by Care for the Family and from a professor of childhood education is a great reminder of the importance of character.

And one of the best ways to encourage the next generation is to model to them the kinds of character traits that we most want them to grow in.

Kindness, integrity, patience, courage, empathy, self-confidence, open-mindedness, resilience, humour, willingness to say sorry, acceptance, determination…..the list goes on.

All good, all important.

And how much more important to live alongside the younger generation in a way that allows them to see these traits in action, rather than simply telling them.

Demonstrate kindness even as you are encouraging your child to be kind.

Listen to them with respect and attention and they are more likely to listen t you.

Tell them when you got it wrong and be quick to say sorry, and they will learn that it is OK to mess up.

There is much published on this – the importance of being a good role model to your child. This great wee article spells it out beautifully.

And of course this concept is not new. Ghandi said

Be the change you want to see in the world”

We long for there to be more kindness and empathy in the world. So choose to model kindness and empathy.

As we everything, we forget, and it is good to stop and take stock every now and then.

If you are a parent, what types of behaviour do your children most see in you? If they were to become ‘just like you’ …..

…what would that be like to be on the receiving end of?

In our house, major exams are looming large. Their outcome is a huge determinant of future education and career opportunities. And inevitably, there is a lot of focus on study, academic achievement, exam success etc.

But I am acutely aware of my own behaviour and what I – often subconsciously – model to Nearest-and-Dearest. Do I stick with what I say I am going to do or procrastinate and faff? Do I have good boundaries round my work and take time off like I am encouraging in her? Am I as quick to affirm effort as I am results? Do I model perseverance and a reasonable work ethic? Do I talk about my own failures and how I have taken stock, regrouped and moved on? Do I laugh at myself sometimes or is the focus always intense and high pressure?

These examples are pertinent to my own stage. But whether you are a parent or not, chances are there are younger people round about you – at work, extended family – and more than you realise, they will be watching your behaviour.

So this week, pay attention to what you model to those around you. And over the next few weeks, there will be further musings on character traits that we could all do with more of.