Who is the person you are at your best?

How would you describe that person? Think of times in your life when you have been your most fulfilled and engaged with life, using your skills and connecting well with people. Then consider the characteristics you displayed at that time. 

This in a way ties back to my musings on the kinds of character traits we want to model to others. 

Kindness…Empathy…Resilience

Gratitude…Forgiveness…Perseverance

Humour…Creativity…Proactivity

What words would you use to describe yourself at your best?

What would others say of you – how would you most want to be described?

Why is this important?

Decluttering has been the theme for the past few weeks. Last week, we moved away from physical clutter into the realm of clutter that is more abstract but just as real. 

Issues like

• negative comparisons with others
• regret for the past
• anxiety for the future – constant living with “but what if….“
• preoccupation and distraction that rob us of the present
• self absorption 
• judgment and criticism

This makes for a rather less pleasant list, methinks. 

These negative thoughts can take up an awful lot of space in our heads, contributing enormously to our brain soup. The effort required to continue with these thoughts robs us of energy that could otherwise be utilised more constructively. More on this here from Psychology Today – this is huge issue that impacts all of us. 

In a recently conversation about mental energy used in destructive ways, I referred to the process used by this individual as being like

constantly ferreting away with mental worry beads. 

It takes up time, energy, causes us to go round in circles, and gets us nowhere. 

Do you use mental worry beads?

We all do this. So how to declutter our minds of this negativity?

I want to offer you a tool in the form of a very simple question. The next time you find yourself going round in negative circles, stuck on a loop that is oh-so-familiar as you fidget with your worry beads, ask yourself this:

What direction are these thoughts taking me in? Towards or away from the best version of myself?

If the thoughts are prompting you to take positive action and change something about yourself that needs addressed, great – allow them to serve as such. 

But consider the person you are at your best, where we started this week.

Who is that person – the person you most want to be?

And are the thoughts in your head taking you towards or away

from that person?

This can serve to stop you in your tracks and break the cycle.

You look objectively at your thought behaviour, see where it is unhelpful and can then choose to take a different path. 

Of course, this is neither an easy process nor a quick one. 

But it is a simple tool and very effective.

Our greatest super power is our power of choice, and we can exercise it to the fullest here.

We choose what is in our heads, no one else does. 

And we can choose to change that – to stop ferreting with our mental worry beads and instead move towards the person we want to be.

More on this to come….