How to make it easier to step outside your comfort zone

What is on the outside of your comfort zone? And how do you make it easier to step out into that great new yonder? Or put it another way –

What would you say to yourself if you find yourself a year from now in exactly the same place you are today?

Same attitudes, same behaviour patterns, same mindset?

Same unfulfilled dreams and ambitions? Same unfinished tasks?

Same self-talk of excuses – “I really should get that done…..I’d love to be able to do that but…..”.

Same resistance to change.

Same fear of- well, fear of all sorts of things.

Harrumpf. Not a very inspiring thought is it.

But to get to where we want to be – finish a task, deepen a relationship, change how we prioritise our time, take up a new hobby, stop self-defeating negative self talk – we do indeed have to take that first step, otherwise we will remain exactly where we are now.

Last week I was musing about the importance of taking that first step, often in the absence of knowing what the second step might be. We step out of our comfort zone, motivated by our desire to get to the goal at the end, and trusting that after each step, the next one will become apparent.

But whilst we know that this what we want to do, that first step can be tricky indeed.

There are several ways to make it easier for ourselves.

• write down as clearly as possible where you want to get to – your goal – and all the benefits of getting there. What you stand to gain, what life will be like, who you will be when you achieve that goal. Create a clear, inspiring and specific vision for the destination. A vision board can be a great visual way to represent this, or some other tangible reminder of what you want to achieve, and – crucially – the benefits to your life of achieving it. If others are involved in these benefits, so much the better. This is positive motivation.
• also write down what you stand to lose by not taking action to get there – if you are still in the exact same place a year from now, what is that like? What is the cost? To you? To your family and loved ones? To your health? This is negative motivation but it can be very powerful.
• and linked to this, also take clear and specific note of what you are trying to overcome: what are the fears you face as you consider taking this step? What will you gain and who will you become as you overcome these fears?
• describe to yourself what life will be like when you have achieved that goal – what you will be doing, feeling, enjoying? What will have changed? What therefore do you need to have achieved to be doing this? Work backwards and break those things down into smaller subheadings, then action steps, and the first step will become clearer.
• have a few raving fans around you – people who believe in and with you that you can indeed achieve this. And hanging out with action-takers – people who do the things they say they are going to do – can be very inspiring.
• identify as many of the obstacles as you can, and preempt their power by working out counter arguments in advance ie: don’t be defeated at the first exercise hurdle because you don’t have the right kit. This applies to self-talk too. When you are tempted to give yourself an excuse for not taking that step, instead be honest about what is actually going on.
• don’t wait until all your plans are perfect before you take that first step. For more on this, and the marvellous term analysis paralysis, see this previous post.
• recognise that there will be mistakes, some back tracking and changes of direction. This is not only inevitable but normal. Rarely do we get to where we want to go directly, straight away and at the first attempt.

Failure is how we learn, if we choose to be open to the lessons therein.

James Dyson was very clear about the goal, but it took him 15 years and 5,127 shots at it to get the bag-less vacuum cleaner right. Lots and lots of first steps, backtracking, changing direction. But always a clear goal. And never giving up.

So this week, if you are struggling to take that first step that you have been wanting to for a while, make it easier for yourself by systematically working through these tips.

I believe with you that you can do this.