School return, roots and wings and other things

To say this has been a tumultuous week in Scotland within the education sector is an understatement. After the weirdest and most challenging school term anyone has experienced came results day last week for those in higher school education. Emotions run high enough at these times anyway without the added layers of complication and unrest surrounding this year’s awards.

Add to this the ever evolving plans around school return….and the hows, whos, whens, what ifs abound. 

This morning, I watched with tearful delight as lots of shiny fresh faced sparkly new Primary one pupils made their way to the school in our street. Some literally skipping, neat-as-a-pin pigtails flying in the breeze. Some more reluctant. Some drowned by new giant sized school bags. And all of them starting 13 years of education with the innocence and wonder of little people who soak up new ideas like sponges. 

Roots and wings.

That is what we give them as parents. I first heard this phrase used by Rob Parsons, of Care for the Family.

(A brilliant charity designed to support and empower in all areas of family life, well worth checking out).

It has stayed with me throughout the nearly 18 years that I have been a parent, and today it hit me afresh. 

Because we are at the wings end of roots and wings parenting.

Watching all these littlies starting out, I was reminded of our own Elder Nearest-and-Dearest’s first day at Primary school. She knew no-one, and seemed to climb further into me as we approached the moment parents would leave. She did then the following day meet the girl who remains her best friend, although I am aware not everyone’s school start is that straight forward. 

But what struck me today is how fast the intervening 13 years have passed. I know that is such a cliche, that children grow up fast and that we need to treasure them and not wish those years away. 

Forgive me, but today I am going to add my voice to that cliche – they do grow up fast, and how important it is to recognise that the time we have with them under our roofs is short in relation to their and our lives as a whole. 

If lockdown has taught us anything, it is the importance of relationships.

Not being able to see people face to face, the loss of physical contact between friends, being unable to give a hug of celebration or solace – these are repeating themes around lockdown. 

If you have children, think about the roots and wings with which you are equipping them. Roots are about safety, security and healthy boundaries within which to learn and grow. Wings are about learning how to learn and becoming autonomous in life and decision making. Good roots allow a safe place to experiment, fail and learn and develop wings that foster independence. More on this here. 

And whether you have children or not, take a few minutes today to cherish and appreciate your most important relationships. We can easily be sucked into busyness – the noise of work/social media/commitments/to-do lists – and those that are most precious to us can be squeezed out. 

But time is short and people are a precious gift to be cherished, valued and enjoyed. Tell them they matter and make time for them. 

If you would like a tool to help you explore what it is that really matters to you and how to assess your priorities in this next life season, sign up to The 10 Things Challenge, and find out more here.