How has lockdown affected your relationships?

We have been musing here in recent weeks about essential services, and what we consider to be essential for our own lives. 

A big part of that is our relationships, especially with those we class as Nearest-and-Dearest – be it partner, children, close family, precious friends.  

How has lockdown affected your relationships?

If you live with other people – a partner, family, or housemates – it is very likely that you have never spent such intense, uninterrupted time with those people before. And that can be both a blessing and something of a trial. There are lots of factors at play here. 

Our communication and personality styles, emotional responses, mental and emotional health all have a huge impact on our relationships. And practical considerations like how much physical space you have at home and if there has been outside space so that you have been able to work separately and distance yourselves from each other at points of the day. 

Care for the Family, a British charity that supports all aspects of family life, made available an online marriage resource near the beginning of lockdown. This has proved to be hugely popular. MB and I as well as many others have been blessed by taking time to talk about issues around our marriage and invest in each other in fresh ways, inspired by some great content and stories from others. 

In some ways, we have had time to invest in our relationship like never before.

There has also been the incentive:  it has felt like living in a pressure cooker and you can either take proactive action to release the pressure gradually or await that explosion that is the result of brewing tension. 

When our lives are very busy, like they probably were for you in life BC, our relationships can become functional without closeness.

We don’t take time to listen to each other properly.

We take each other for granted or only see what irritates us about the other person.

We can give those closest to us – who mean the most to us – the least and the worst of us.

We give of ourselves to our work, or our friends, or a hobby that is a passion, and all that is left for our partner is the dregs at the end of the day. 

But in lockdown, all those aspects of life that were external were removed. Chances are you were still working, and probably under more strain and pressure than before. You may also have had the additional challenge of managing your children and their education. 

But you were also thrown together for an extended period of time and that can bring great opportunities. 

Sometimes we can be too consumed by our own situations that we fail to see that which is at the end of our nose – our closest relationships. But when those relationships are literally at the end of our noses for three whole months with very little outside influences to break the intensity, what do we notice?

So how has lockdown affected your relationships?

What emotions are surfacing as you consider that question?

Over the next few weeks, my musings here are going to look at some of the issues around relationships.  I aim to pose some questions that might give you food for thought – both over the summer weeks, and as we re-enter a busier phase of life. 

If you are single and have been in lockdown on your own, bear with me. What relationships are there in your life that bring the closeness of loving and accepting accountability that also prompts you to be more of the best of you?

For now, stop and consider how has lockdown affected your relationships. 

What have you learned about yourself, and about them?

What is surfacing that is most important? And what most needs to change?

Food for thought – more next week!

Want these blog musings straight into your inbox, plus your FREE self coaching guide to go with them? 

Sign up here.