How often do you play The Comparisons Game?

How often do we play the comparisons game?

You know how it works –

I wish I was more/less like so-and-so

If only I could…..like he/she can

I can’t write/draw/play football/sing/cook/ as well as…….can

I wish I was as handsome/fit/pretty/tall/short/thin as…….

In reflecting back on our lives when we get to the end of them, if we have that luxury, it is unlikely that we will be pleased at the amount of time we spent comparing ourselves with others.

One of the most common death bed regrets is regretting not living being true to oneself. We know that we do not want to live a life of compromise and comparison, but instead, live a life being true to ourselves.

And yet, we all-too-easily find ourselves playing

The Comparisons Game.

What is the cost of this and why is living like this such a common regret?

Because it is such a waste of time and energy. We cannot control what other people think of us, their actions or behaviour. We cannot make them think more highly of us.

But the consequences of living the comparisons game are far worse. Living comparing ourselves with other people and wishing we were something else…

…stops us from being who we are.

You are an astonishing, unique and wonderful person. But living only able to see who you are not and what you can’t do robs the world of that person. It eats away at confidence and self-esteem, and limits our choices.

When we tell our brains that we are not and we can’t. the world around us feels more threatening and this keeps our brains in an alert state. Instead, when we tell ourselves – and our brains – that we are and we can, that builds confidence and puts our brains into a place of safety. Our perspective broadens and expands and we are in a more positive, growth-oriented mindset.

This I know from hard experience – for years I believed I was not a creative person and compared myself very unfavourably with those I knew who were at the top of the creative tree. In so doing, I squashed a whole part of myself, and failed to give full expression to much of what I did.

Now, there were two problems here. Firstly, I was looking in the wrong mirror and comparing myself to a completely misplaced image: I had creative as synonymous with artistic. I can’t draw, I really can’t. But that does not mean I am not creative, far from it. Acceptance and self respect are important here.

Secondly, in labeling myself thus, all I could see was what others could do and what I could not, and in so doing, I minimised my own abilities and reduced my effectiveness in all I did.

Hard work isn’t it?

Being free to see who I am, what I can do, and – in this instance – how I express my creativity – has been so freeing and has expanded my mind.

What about you? Rather than comparing yourself negatively with others around you, today focus instead on who you are, what you can do, and accept and enjoy being yourself.

How will your life be different when you stop playing the Comparisons Game?