This week sees a fairly momentous event in our house – a milestone birthday celebration (and it’s not mine….).
Half a century. 18, 262 days walking about on this planet. What a thought.
Imagine all the words spoken, all the choices made, all the thoughts thunk.
Food eaten, pairs of shoes worn through, hairs cut, miles driven/walked/climbed/swum.
Imagine the knowledge acquired over half a century, let alone all that has changed in our world over that time. Things that we know now we need to know that 50 years ago we could barely have conceived in our wildest imagings.
Many moons ago, when I was a fresh-faced and very green-about-the-gills newly qualified physiotherapist (physical therapist), I once asked a marvelous elderly patient which of her 9 decades she had enjoyed the most. She was tickled with the question, claiming that no one had ever asked her such a thing before. She paused and gave due consideration, and then decreed her 50s. Asked why, she explained that in her 50s, she was much more comfortable with who she was and less swayed by the views, expectations and demands of those around her. Her family were independent and needed her less so she had more freedom, but with that freedom she had gained life experience and self awareness to enjoy being who she was. She still had her health, and benefited from rich relationships that had stood the test of time.
I have never forgotten this conversation. At the time, I was in my early 20s and thought she was SO OLD. But here I find myself reflecting on that conversation now that MB has reached his half century (and truth be told, I am not far behind).
Think about your own life and and age-and-stage with me for a minute. For how many decades have you walked this earth? Who are you now compared to who you were as you started out as a grown-up, whatever age you consider that to be?
Is a milestone birthday celebration coming up for you?
…. and if so, how are you approaching it?
I would not go back to being that fresh-faced 20 something for anything. Today, I benefit from hard won self awareness gained from years of life lessons and experience. I no longer so easily get sucked into The Comparisons Game (more here and here – this is powerful stuff which I write on often). I have learned how to temper somewhat my directness, tendency to jump in and fix things, and sheer gusto for life. I enjoy greater freedom to say, this is me, this is what I can do. And with that, more confidence to express what I can’t do and be open to learn with less of the insecurity and black-and-whiteness that comes with youth.
And I would not trade that for my youthful enthusiasm and energy, even if I gained less arthritic joints.
This week sees the celebration of Thanksgiving in the US. Another milestone celebration, and a tremendous tradition. To my American friends, a very happy Thanksgiving!
And to all of us, as we think about the life that we live TODAY, what are we thankful for?
A milestone birthday celebration is often a useful prompt to stop and look back, reflecting a little on where we have come from and what life means to us. But I am a great believer in the power of gratitude at any time. It is a useful and powerful discipline to practice each day being thankful for who we are and what we have.
To see what is GOOD about our lives, and to celebrate all that we have learned that day/week/year.
I have spoken here at some length about our experience of living alongside MB’s depression (the story starts here, and the lessons learned start here). For us, reaching this milestone is cause to celebrate that we made it. We have learned much about ourselves along the way, and made many mistakes. We are thankful to have been able to grow through that to a stronger place in our lives and relationships. And we are HUGELY thankful to friends and family who have lived these years alongside us.
As it is Thanksgiving this week, and perhaps prompted in some small way by our milestone birthday celebration, I encourage you to take a few minutes to stop.
Look at your own life and think, what am I thankful for about who I am and the life I am living TODAY compared to a year ago? And who can I express thanks to for their role in that?