To walk slowly, pausing often

As a life coach, one of the things I talk most about is the importance of being self-aware. 

I encourage clients to stop regularly throughout their day or week and ask themselves questions . This allows space and time to check in with themselves, with how they are feeling and what they need. Or perhaps to assess progress thus far, and ascertain what the next step is that day towards who they want to be or what they want to achieve. 

A beautiful poem on grief by Andy Raine from the Northumbria Community reminds me that just now, in this season, this is especially important. 

Part of his poem says this:

“Do not hurry

as you walk with grief:

it does not help the journey.

Walk slowly,

pausing often:

do not hurry…”

These are beautiful words, that resonate on so many levels. 

What does it mean to walk slowly, pausing often?

For me in my work as a coach, this is the key to self awareness. We cannot seek to fully understand why we are making the choices we are making unless we take time to stop and notice what is going on inside us. 

Why are we doing what we are doing? Often it is because of what we are believing about ourselves. And unless we pause and identify what that is, it will remain in our subconscious, driving our choices and behaviour whether we like it or not. 

Equally, to walk slowly pausing often is to allow ourselves time to check in with how we feel. How we feel is what I call a surface level indicator of need. Our feelings may not be reliable in terms of the truth of the situation (I have written about this before, often – see here and here on feeling all the feelings) but our feelings are useful indicators that something, perhaps, is amiss. 

We might be feeling hungry or angry, tired or lonely. More on that here and the importance of taking the necessary action. 

We might be feeling chewed up inside and irritated. A conversation has left us feeling rattled and unless we address how we feel, we are likely to take out our frustration on some unsuspecting soul we next come into contact with. 

Or anxious, fretful, unable to settle to anything. We are worried about something as yet unidentified and un-named. Taking the time to work downwards from the surface emotion of anxiety to the root cause of it allows us then to start to understand what action we need to take to address the issue. In coaching, this is called root cause analysis, and you can read more about that here. 

It may be that we feel confidence rising up inside us that is joyous and a new-ish sensation. I think of someone who I spoke with recently for whom this is the case – internal work through coaching has brought this wonderful person to a new-found understanding of confidence and behaviour pattern based on an un-do-ing of lies believed and a right self-belief system. 

But until we learn to walk slowly, pausing often we will miss these little prophets of behaviour that indicate what is going on inside us. 

So this week, pay attention to the speed at which you are walking and – whatever season of life you find yourself in – take time to walk slowly, pausing often to notice how you are and what you are feeling. 

Then be kind to yourself and those around you by taking appropriate action.