How impetuous a person are you? How often do you find yourself making an impulsive decision that you later go on to regret?
What if before you acted, you were able to HALT?
An enticing offer presents itself that you know objectively that you would like to refuse. It might be an extra cake rather than a healthy snack, or remaining on the sofa rather than going out for some exercise. Perhaps it is looking up that website that you know is not good for you but the temptation is so strong. Maybe you open your mouth and yell at one of your Nearest-and-Dearest in a moment of frustration triggered by some minor irritation.
Despite your best intentions, you self sabotage and make a bad decision.
How often is that bad decision actually an attempt to meet an un-met need?
And what if you had a tool to help you pause? To look more objectively at how you really are and take remedial action before you make that rash, impulsive and soon-to-be-regretted decision?
This is the power of HALT.
The acronym HALT stands for
- Hungry
- Angry
- Lonely
- Tired.
It is a popular tool used in addiction and recovery work, and is thought to have originated from Alcoholics Anonymous. The realm of addictions recovery is one in which I have no experience and therefore am not going to comment.
But stop and think with me a minute about how useful this little word is in causing us to pause before we take action.
Because as ever, HALT is about self awareness.
And when we take a minute to stop and become aware of how we are, we can then become more objective about our decision making. That makes us better able to self regulate.
Imagine that a family member or colleague asks you an innocuous question and you yell at them and snap their head off in response, which for them seems totally out of the blue.
This then leads to a mess of hurt and resentful feelings that need to be cleared up. And all for the sake of you letting off steam because of some, as yet unidentified or unnamed deeper need.
It might be that you are hungry, and your blood sugar is in our boots.
Or angry about something/someone that happened earlier that has nothing to do with the person you are about to yell at, but is unresolved and bubbling dangerously away.
Or our energy levels are low and we feel sapped by negativity or lack of investment in our souls – an inner loneliness. We need to speak to a good friend who will help us process, give us a good laugh and renew a more positive perspective.
Finally, it might be that we are tired – physically, mentally or emotionally weary and our reserves of patience and grace have run low.
All of these are needs that are valid and important, and when we learn to HALT, we learn to pay attention to them. Once we have identified what it is we actually need, we can more easily take action to prevent that bad decision – in this case, yelling at an unsuspecting soul.
That action might be as simple as to have a healthy snack, or go for a walk to recharge our batteries. It might be excusing ourselves from the room and going and venting steam somewhere safe to let the anger out, at least as a temporary measure before we can properly process it. Practicing mindfulness perhaps or writing in a journal, or engaging in some vigorous exercise – all useful and safe ways to vent anger to prevent it leaking out to others in unhelpful ways.
Or might be arranging to catch up with a life-giving friend soon to address the underlying loneliness.
One word of caution here…
In these strange Covid-restricted days, many more of us are working from home. And therein lies a whole new temptation – the fridge. How often have we heard talk of people – possibly even ourselves – putting on weight in these last 6 months because of easy access to food? This is where another letter comes into play –
B for Bored.
It may not be that you feel bored. But being in the same physical environment all the time, with less variety and stimulation than normal, especially when sitting still looking at a screen can get ….well… quite dull.
Hence the temptation to get up and raid the fridge.
So in this case, let HALT cause you to pause indeed, but notice if you really are hungry or simply needing a change of scene. Then you are in a better position to choose a perhaps healthier option – get outside for a bit, do some exercise, change the task you are working on, phone a friend, or choose a healthier snack or a glass of water.
This is not about being prescriptive – you know what you need and your own areas of temptation better than anyone.
And that is where your 20 seconds of insane courage come in this week.
Take the courage to HALT before you act impulsively so you can become aware of what you really need and make a better and more life giving decision.