Yet. Such a small word. And yet…the power of yet to transform our self belief is tremendous.
How often do you find yourself disqualifying yourself from something because you tell your self that you are not…
…good enough
…qualified enough
…smart enough
…articulate enough
…confident enough
It might be that you are asked to take part in something, speak to someone or take the lead in a new opportunity. You want to do this because it would be exciting, would use your skills and would open up new opportunities. But immediately that pesky negative voice in your head disqualifies you by saying
I can’t because I am not good enough.”
Whilst you may not say this out loud to the person asking you the question, you will certainly say it to yourself.
Now do something with me.
Take 20 seconds of insane courage and add the word YET to the end of the sentence.
I’m not good enough YET.
How does that change things for you?
The power of YET can be truly remarkable.
This is not about being a good or bad person. This is about being skilled at something you are being asked to do, and identifying that CURRENTLY you do not perhaps have enough of the required skill set, but that you are actively working towards gaining those skills and believe that you will be good enough in that field to do what is being asked of you in due course.
We are always learning and growing. When we stop believing we have more to learn, our self awareness takes a nose dive and we become unteachable.
Similarly, when we believe we cannot change because we have always believed this [..insert negative belief here..] about ourselves, we hamstring ourselves, fall at the first hurdle and limit our own opportunities for self development and growth.
Take confidence as another example.
It may well be the case that you are not as confident as you would like. But telling yourself repeatedly that you are not confident enough FULL STOP becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and – eek, dare I say it – can sometimes be a safe and convenient way out of a difficult situation.
Confidence often starts with a choice that pays no heed to our emotions. Our emotions may be screaming at us not to do this, that it is scary, that it will end badly, that everyone will laugh or hate us. But confidence says, this is who I am, this is what is important to me, and I am going to take the courage to step out and say I CAN.
The power of yet says I am not confident YET but I am practicing taking small steps of confidence each day and I am growing in my confidence. The more we practice confidence, the more it grows. And then we reach the stage of being able to say of ourselves, I AM confident to do this, whatever it is.
And that is a great day!
What would a confident you look like? What would you be able to do? Bottle that and let it give you the courage to take action. That action might be getting in touch to talk through gaining confidence through life coaching! You can find out more on how life coaching can build confidence here.
Perhaps you would normally disqualify yourself from an ambition or dream by saying
I’m not qualified enough.”
What is the dream or ambition you really want? What would you gain if you achieved it?
Apply the power of yet to that phrase and tell yourself:
“I am not qualified enough YET”
This then opens up opportunities for growth and development – be it in your career, a possible volunteering opportunity, a hobby or skill. You become more objective and able to take an inventory of what you ARE qualified to do, and what skills and training you need to become more qualified.
The next step is to take courage and take action to become as qualified as you need to be for what you want to achieve.
Sounds too simple?
Like many things in the field of coaching, it is simple but not easy. But the power is in your own self belief and your own self talk because this is the starting point. The growth mindset people have long advocated YET as a means of promoting growth and learning rather than being stuck and fixed by our perceived limitations.
We live in a world that often wants things instantly, and we feel pressured to be all things to all people all the time. But the power of the word yet opens up the need for patience as we learn and grow in our skills and abilities. It opens up respect for ourselves and each other as we see potential where perhaps before we only saw limitations.
And YET recognises that this is a process that we are all on and encourages growth, self reflection and continued learning. That is the joy of the human spirit, and brings hope to us and our futures. More on hope in a couple of weeks, and boy do we need it now.
So consider the power of the word YET the next time you believe you are stuck and CAN’T. Remind yourself that you may not be able to YET, but that you are open minded, willing to work and learn, and excited about who you are becoming as you believe you CAN.