Observations from a DC world: Connection

This has probably been one of the strangest, darkest, scariest and most surreal weeks that many of us will have ever faced. Daily, things are changing. I planned this Lent series of Blogs BC – Before Corona. We now find ourselves living in a DC world: During Corona. And what I find almost impossible to grasp is that I wrote the first drafts of this Lent series only a month ago and now the phrases and ideas are completely out of touch with where we find ourselves. 

Our BC world has changed utterly and devastatingly. 

In the UK, like in many parts of the world, we are now in a stage of almost total lock down in attempts to limit the spread of Covid-19. There is fear, massive uncertainty, and grave concern about the health of loved ones and the catastrophic financial impact of social distancing and mass closures. But emerging from the ashes of our BC world are many stories of human kindness, creativity, inventiveness and generosity.

We now find ourselves trying to work out how to live a ‘new normal’ in this strange DC world. Much has been stripped away; many themes to revisit here in weeks to come. But what strikes me most about this is the

fundamental importance of connection.

As humans, we were created to be in relationship with each other. Suddenly, all normal forms of interaction with people have changed. And with this sharp, sudden and dramatic change has come an acute realisation of our core need for connection and within this, there is scope for much joy. 

Connection with family 

I know for us, as for everyone, we suddenly find ourselves living in close, potentially claustrophobic proximity as never before. I am learning to give myself grace for this, and to respect the needs of my household. We need space from each other, and good boundaries. This is a time for me to pay close attention to my own personality traits and tendencies, and to what I would be tempted to foist onto Nearest-and-Dearest. To learn to step back from my normal jump-in-and-fix-it mode, and instead simply learn how to be together. The rest will come in time. 

Connection with friends

More important than ever is for us to regularly be in contact with friends and to lift our heads above the parapet and get a broader perspective than our own four walls. But beyond this, what I love about the kinds of connections I have had with friends recently has been the depth of sharing and honesty about how we are and what we need. Barriers are down, and a shared sense of understanding means that we can skip past surface niceties and gain deeper connections. Reconnect with those we have lost touch with and as everything else we normally rely on is stripped away, connect deeper with those we need more than ever. 

Connection with neighbours

Fabulous stories abound of creative ways to connect with those in our neighbourhoods. Looking out for those in need, offering help, and asking for help, and finding ways to boost each other’s spirits are for me the central tenets of a great community. What an opportunity to creatively connect with neighbours and get to know folk we normally pass in the street without so much as a nod of the head.  

Connection with those we normally take for granted

This is a time more than ever to vocally express our appreciation for those we might not normally ‘see’ in the course of our lives. Of course, health care workers, emergency workers and teachers. Also Communication and utilities workers. Shelf stackers and delivery drivers. When life is going along swimmingly, it can be easy to see and accept the roles of others with little thought. How much opportunity there is now to show value and respect and express thanks to those who are making our suddenly very different lives much better. 

Brene Brown, in her fabulous book Rising Strong says this:

“Connection doesn’t exist without giving and receiving. We need to give and we need to need.”

This is about giving time, appreciation and love to each other from a generous heart. And learning to say, this is how I am and this is what I need. When we can express that to those we are connected with, honestly and with vulnerability, our connections grow and are strengthened.

These are lessons about connection to take beyond our DC world into the AC world – After Corona – which one day will come.