Observations from a DC world: Creating Structure

Here we are in the midst of our strange and surreal DC – During Corona – world, trying to find a way to live well in what is a new ‘normal’ (albeit temporary) state. Life BC – Before Corona – seems a distant memory. Physical distancing is necessary and important but we are becoming skilled at ways to facilitate social connection, more important now than ever. 

What is the next most important thing to establish as the reality of this DC way of living sinks in?

Creating structure.

There is SO much being posted on line for things that you could do – and so much potential for those of us with children at home to be providing some kind of stimulating, motivating home learning environment. It can all feel quite overwhelming. But in our household, what matters more that WHAT we are doing is HOW we are doing it. From talking with others, and from our own short experience of DC living, these are some observations on creating structure. 

Create a daily routine that works for your household.

What has hit me most about DC living is the absence of much variation. Almost everything that would create the normal fluctuations of life and markers of time – school and work patterns, appointments and social events, holidays and exams – have been put on hold or cancelled. The absence of school work and exams minimises the beneficial impact of holidays. There is very little to look forward to currently. The risk is that life becomes very samey and repetitive, and this is not good for our mental health. So a daily structure is important. Clear times during the day for work, exercise, time away from screens, meals and fun.

This is about creating routines and clear expectations that bring a sense of some control over our lives.

In our house, during the week we are getting up at a sensible time and having breakfast together as normal. Work and school work fill the morning. Lunch is together watching something fun on TV, then a little quiet reading (precipitated by clearing out our bookshelves and discovering a wealth of unread books!). Afternoons are for exercise, cooking, jobs round the house, catching up with friends, messing about doing daft things. Evenings are an opportunity to watch a series on TV together as a family activity that we all look forward to and bookends the day. 

Weekends need to feel different to ensure the weekly structure stays even loosely intact. For us, that means lazier mornings, bigger baking projects, games, online church of some kind, good movies. 

Have small celebrations and achievements.

So much of what is going on is desperately hard. Disappointments abound, layer upon layer. Emotions can threaten to overwhelm and acknowledging them is important (more next week). And thus creating small celebrations that we CAN look forward to is key. How we each do this will depend on our household. But acknowledging what we HAVE achieved in getting through each week keeps our hearts open to gratitude and a sense of control. Creating small things to celebrate help mark the passage of time and remind us that there is still much that is good in life. 

Creating structure for your work.

Chances are, you are working from home now. It is important to create clear boundaries on where and when you will work. Decide when your working hours are, recognising the need for flexibility and sensible expectations. When are you available to deal with emails, phone and conference calls? Communicate this to those who need to know – work colleagues and those you are sharing a house with. 

Where possible, set up a specific designated work space. I have been working at home for 6 years now, and have a lovely desk in the corner of a room which I associate with coaching and writing. It has taken me a while to learn how to work well at home, and give myself specific working hours when I do not do household chores or see friends. I have created a 5 minute ‘letting go’ rhythm that I use as I put my work away, mentally acknowledging what I have done, noting what needs to be done tomorrow, then switching off so that I can then focus on life beyond work (even if that life remains within the same four walls!). Ensure there is time each day away from a screen. 

Stay flexible.

Any routine and structure you create is there to serve you not for you to become enslaved to it. Structure and discipline help us regain some kind of handle on our day that restores a sense of control and self-worth. 

Your way of doing this is just that: your way.

Remember that whilst this is a global crisis, your response will rightly be a very personal one because you are unique.

No one else will manage their way through this in the same way as you

because no one else IS you.

Be open to what others are doing and to all that is useful. But give yourself permission to do this YOUR way, taking what is good and taking time to notice each day how you are and what you and your household need. 

Creating structure in this strange DC world is about working out what works best for you. Keep communication channels open and let yourself off the hook for having to do everything. Who you are in all this is more important that what you do.