To encourage takes courage

These past week have brought several unexpected encouragements from often unexpected quarters or at unexpected times. None of them were sought, they just popped out at me in passing, as if to say:

Hey, you’re doing OK and I love who you are becoming.”

Equally, I have had the opportunity to encourage or have affirming conversations with several people, and it is just such fun and so exciting. Often, the opportunity passes me by and I miss it, but crucially on these occasions, I opened my mouth and spoke out words of love, support, affirmation before I chickened out for fear of looking silly or being too unScottish and over-emotional.

I have been musing in recent weeks about how we have become who we are today. This has been prompted in large part by enormous milestones in our own lives – Elder Nearest-and-Dearest graduates this summer and Younger Nearest-and-Dearest has completed her first year at university.

We are nearly a year into our new season as Empty Nesters, and there is a lot to acknowledge, sit with and reflect on.

It has been good to reflect on the people who have inspired us along the way to reach where we are now, to gain the dreams we held for so long. Or at least to believe we can keep going in that direction. And to reflect on our role in the lives of those who have stood on our shoulders (as I was musing last time) to reach where they are today, especially young people that are in our lives.

To encourage takes courage.

Encourage has the word courage at its centre – sometimes we have to overcome our natural inhibitions or fears to tell someone we love them, or that they are beautiful, or that they are persevering with grace and integrity despite the hardship of their circumstance. To listen to someone, hear their heart and then affirm and encourage them for who they are is to give a precious gift.

It is interesting to fish more deeply into the meaning of the word courage. Who better than to inspire us here than Brene Brown, in her book The Gifts of Imperfection. 

Courage originally meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’…speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we’re feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage. Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line.”

It is easy to stay silent when we know we could speak out. It is easy to say nothing when we fear a backlash but we know that offering words of love and honest kindness would bring hope.

To encourage takes courage oftentimes – we show courage in speaking up and offering specific words to restore and bring hope. How often do we stop to appreciate the people who live right under our noses? To tell them we love them – not just family members, as that can be easier. But friends, or family members with whom we find it harder to articulate our feelings?

Very un-Scottish I know.

Choosing to encourage takes courage, to affirm people for the role they play in our lives, to stop and say:

I would not be who or where I am today if it were not for you. You are one of the giants on whose shoulders I have stood. Thank you.”

Who is around you just now who is needing a courage boost? Who can you seek out to tell them how much they mean to you?

Where can you speak up for someone who might have lost their voice?