Helpful tools for this DC world

How are you feeling this week? I was musing last week on the importance of taking time to reflect each day as we try our best to live in this strange DC world. Life BC seems a distant memory, and it is too soon to dream about all the marvelous things we will do AC – After Corona – when we are finally released. 

One of the key reasons for taking time to reflect each day is that it allows us to stay flexible. How I am feeling today likely bears little resemblance to how I am feeling tomorrow, or even in a few hours. Many factors are at play here. We are likely to be feeling more negative, overwhelmed and fearful if we have listened to the news, heard from a friend in a difficult or demanding situation or job, faced yet another disappointment, argued with those we are living in claustrophobic proximity to, or spent too long on social media. 

Alternatively, we might be feeling buoyed and up beat if we have heard of a loved one recovering from ill health, someone receiving a financial boost, a fresh wave of human kindness and generosity, a precious time of connection with a loved one, or simply that we have finally been able to buy flour whilst playing shopping roulette. 

But what do we do with those feelings? 

Once we have identified what we are feeling, it is then important to ask two questions: 

• What am I believing in this situation?
• What do I need?

Staying at the point of sitting in our feelings can precipitate us into a downward spiral of doubt, uncertainty, anxiety, worry and fear. And often times those feelings are served with a healthy side order of self-pity, self-doubt, or self-recrimination. More importantly, our feelings are startlingly unreliable indicators of truth. 

So, if we can objectively state those feelings as a belief, we can then choose to replace that belief with something different. We get to exercise our secret super power – our power of choice. This is something I have spoken of often, and in these days is more important than ever. 

What are some tools that can help us choose positive beliefs and meet some of our needs?

Mindfulness

A well known and well documented tool to keep us grounded when feelings and negative beliefs threaten to overwhelm. If your feelings are pointing to beliefs about worst case scenarios and this never ending, STOP.

Breathe….rest your feet firmly on the ground…..become aware of your body, where there is tension.

Clench and unclench your hands a few times. Breathe deeply in and out from your tummy, and focus on your breath alone. Sit and breathe slowly, calmly, deeply for a few minutes. A great video resource on this is here. 

If you are a pray-er, turn this to prayer, saying a name for God in your in breath, and breathing out what you need to let go of. 

If you are not a pray-er, simply breath in and out phrases like “I can…” “I am….” and notice what you are feeling in this moment. 

Loads of helpful tools and ideas here and here,  and from the Headspace website.

Gratitude

Write down three things each day that you are grateful for that day. Of all the suggested exercises I get clients to do, this is one of the commonest, and also the most powerful. Gratitude shifts our perspective from entitlement to generosity, from negative thinking to positive. From a scarcity to an abundance mindset, more here. 

As well as what you are grateful for, note down what you HAVE achieved in the past day/week/since we entered this DC world. You will be surprised at all that you come up with. Make this a cumulative list as this helps on darker days to see that there is light and hope and to restore a sense of control. 

Believing in something bigger

If you are a person of faith, have some statements written around your home that point to Who you believe in and what you believe about Him. If faith is not as much a part of your life, take time to write out clear and specific goals for what you want to do and what is important when we come out of this, that remind you that there is MORE and that life is precious and will return to a (hopefully new and enriched) normal.

What do I KNOW to be true? What am I putting my faith in? What do I believe about my life once this season is past?

Rhythm and repetition

There is much to be said for soothing, repetitive tasks that take up our concentration and prevent us focusing on the noise in our heads. This is especially true after too many screen-based meetings, too much social media, too much news. Again, lots of options – jigsaws, repetitive cleaning/restoration/polishing tasks, colouring or doodling, or embrace your inner child and get the Lego out!

Sit in quiet and do NOTHING.

Noise – emotional and mental. Masses of it just now. And we are used to living full-pelt busy lives with little space. So take a few minutes to just sit. And do nothing. Just as you would let your body recover after an intense burst of exercise, so too we need to let our minds recover. 

Change the record

Ever found yourself doing the same thing over and over and yet expecting to either make progress on a task or feel better? The definition of insanity. If you are going round in circles and getting nowhere, get out of your head, and change the record. Dance. Sing loudly. Do the hoovering. Clean out a drawer. Phone a friend. Get out of the house if you can do so safely. But break the cyclical pattern in your head, if necessary by giving yourself grace to see what you HAVE done and permission to stop for the day. 

This too will pass – but having taken time to identify what you are feeling, allow yourself to express those feelings safely and then choose to fill your mind with thoughts and beliefs that are positive and life giving.