This is another behaviour of people who are genuine – being able to tell when people are full of it. This is where we have got to on our meanderings through traits of genuine people. I like writing series like this as the idea simply serves as a jumping off point for reflection and self questioning, all of which are an important part of self-awareness and ultimately self-growth.
We all know someone who is full of it – talks the talk, bigs themselves up but doesn’t follow through. Or rarely asks about you, simply talks about themself. Perhaps you can think of someone who is a self-identified expert in a vast range of fields that seems somewhat unlikely to you but this person always seems to have the last word as they know best.
Just look at the world of politics currently to see this in action.
The problem is, being around people who are full of it is exhausting and draining.
Empty promises, exaggerations, self-promoting behaviour, grandiose statements and empty talk without substance or knowledge, lack of interest or engagement in anything beyond the end of their own nose, and inflated sense of their own importance…..the list could go on.
This links back to our understanding of our own worth. When we know who we are and what we can do, and when we are both comfortable with our strenghts and aware of our limitations, we don’t need to behave in a way that over promotes what we do not know.
We don’t need to pretend to be something or someone we are not, or to fill the air in the room with our own views simply to draw attention to ourselves.
One article I found on this topic suggested that linked idea of being full of hot air is a term that has been around since the late 1800s – not much is new in human behaviour really.
The hot air analogy is helpful when you visualise what air does when it heats up – it expands. People who are full of it talk in a way that their talk quickly expands to fill all available space, without any real substance.
People who are full of it tend to be self-centred and self-focused in their outlook.
They tend to be lacking in empathy, and don’t attempt to or are unaware of how to put themselves in the shoes of others to see a different perspective.
Their problems are always bigger, worse, more catastrophic than yours and they can be an emotional sink hole in terms of you investing in them without any returns. Space occupying with little substance.
This all sounds very damning. I am sure that as you are reading this, you have a particular person in mind…but this is not about pointing the finger or about judging.
This is about stopping to ask questions of ourselves, to prompt us to stop and think.
Genuine people are not naive. This is not about being clueless as to the underlying motives and behaviours of others, and being easily taken in to your own cost. This is about being grounded in reality – your own and that of the other person – so it is clear to see when something does not add up.
Notice the people who are full of it that you come across this week, and what it is about them that irks you. And choose to neither consciously or unconsciously behave in the same way yourself.