What one thing are you going to STOP doing this year?

New year, new you?

No, me neither. 

January is a cold, dark and generally uninspiring month at the best of times. One that leaves us feeling just a little bit meh (or frobly mobly if you want to be a bit more 18th century about it – more here if you are intrigued…).

And to add insult to injury, many of us are feeling a bit battered and bruised, jaded and weary after these long months of pandemic restrictions, anxiety and ever-changing-plans. 

So the idea of sparkly new resolutions feels a little, shall we say, over ambitious. 

But last week I suggested simply doing one thing differently at the start of this year. Keep it simple and make it manageable, and you are more likely to make that habit stick. 

What is most important of course is that it is relevant to you. 

This week, let’s consider another question that might get you shaking off the January blues and making small changes in a way that is sustainable. 

What one thing are you going to STOP doing this year?

Take a few minutes with me to consider last year. I know, some of it we really are not keen to revisit. But live through it we did, and there will be aspects of last year that are positive and inspiring. More on that next week. 

For this week, think about some of the aspects of last year that were perhaps less good and that are within your control. 

So much of last year was a bit rubbish and is outwith our control. Focus on that, and we risk becoming passive, despondent, reactionary. 

But when we focus on that which was less good but is within our control, therein lie the seeds of positive, proactive change. 

There are a number of different areas of life to consider. Here are some examples:

Work

• too much time sitting down 
• too many zoom calls
• distracted by email notifications
• poor boundaries between work and home

Relationships

• not enough time with Nearest and Dearest
• too quick to say yes without thinking through the cost
• balance skewed wrongly between those in outer circles of relationship and those closest to us
• overthinking and over analysing conversations 

Personal

• too much time surfing social media in an energy-sucking kind of way
• too much time being sedentary
• making poor choices in what you eat, or sleep patterns, or what you watch

The list could go on for ages. The point is to think through your own life and see where there are behaviours and actions that you see are not good for you. 

What stands out the most?

What one thing are you going to stop doing?

It could be as simple as not being distracted by email notifications when you are working, or choosing not to make all your meetings online but use the phone instead. Maybe the one thing you are going to stop doing is to stop working after a certain time in the evening, or checking work emails at the weekend. 

Or perhaps it could be to stop taking your phone to bed at night so you are removing that distraction. 

Maybe the one thing you are going to stop doing is eating between meals.

Or choosing to not faff on social media when you could be enjoying the physical company of a friend or loved one instead. 

What would make the biggest difference to you?

Keep it simple and pick something with a high buy-in: what will you gain by stopping doing this one thing? Who else stands to benefit?

Rather than beat yourself up about this particular behaviour, choose instead to recognise it for what it is and acknowledge that it was less than good last year. And give yourself permission instead to celebrate letting that thing go, seeing yourself released from that behaviour and enjoying freedom to not be tied by it this year.