Exam season, the season of black clouds

Exam season is upon us.

And this house too has finally been visited by the exam Black Cloud. Perhaps, as in the days of the plague, we should put some kind of mark on our door post.

“We too understand,” it would say. “We are united with you, the hundreds of other young people who are being asked to regurgitate the extent of their knowledge in a pressurised, processed format.” Solidarity with parents/carers of exam-ees everywhere: united in our ability to make cups of tea and soothing noises in the face of self doubt and crisis, sympathetic to our attempts to navigate the treacherous tightrope between encouraging and nagging….

Solidarity with the exam-ees themselves as we remember all too well that feeling of walking into the exam hall:

‘will the question I need come up?’…

‘will I run out of time?’…

‘will I remember anything….’

‘what if I fail….’

And so much at stake.

This set of exams leads on to the next, which is a likely predictor of university/college/apprenticeship application. More exams, the pressure ramping up all the time. And the outcome of those exams has the potential to lead on to the world of work, earning, living independently….the start of the exam season feels like a slippery slope onto that treadmill of the-rest-of-your-life.

Gosh.

All a bit doom and gloom filled. But the pressures and expectations are immense, and the world our young people are entering into seems considerably less stable and certain than when I got my first job, more than 25 years ago.

But step back from the details and the exams and look at the bigger picture for a minute with me.

Last week I was talking about the importance of failing up – of trying, failing, and being willing to try again. The best creative minds are those that are prepared to have another go, motivated by their passion and drive to make something new.

They say it is not the destination that matters but the journey.

[I know, pass the sick bags]

What we learn along the way in the pursuit of our goals, and in the face of failure or disappointment, is where the gold is – resilience, perseverance, humility, new ideas, fresh perspective. This is character growth that facilitates maturing in emotional intelligence, an essential adjunct to any good CV or exam results if we want to get on in life.

The exam-ee in our house made an interesting statement on her return from today’s exam. Discussing her next study plans, a passing comment about Maths (two exams hence) indicated the extent of her own journey:

Oh it’s fine, I’m not worried about that. I understand it now.

This is most definitely a remarkably different place to a couple of years ago.

She has gone from scraping a pass, to excellent knowledge and understanding of the subject. From abject disappointment and self-doubt to calm confident assurance in her ability.

I did not let such a marvelous teachable moment pass [I know, those sick bags again please].

How did you get to this level of confidence with your maths?”

Perseverance, practice, trying again, a realistic one-step-at-a-time approach. Much time, effort, and algebraic sweat and tears.

And a lot of input and encouragement from MB (My Beloved as he is known here).

Where do you find yourself being tested this week?

What are the exam equivalents in your life just now? Perhaps a tricky relationship. Job hunting. Learning a new skill for work. Battling with your health.

In what circumstances might you be tempted to give up, believing that you cannot change?

Or where might you be on the edge of despondency, tempted to believe there is no point in continuing?

None of this is easy. The implications and cost can be huge. Sacrifices.

But small changes each day lead to a huge difference over time. One step today. Another tomorrow. And the next day. Stopping to see each day what you are thankful for, even in the midst of the pressure and stress. And moral support – we all need someone to cheer us on, someone else to say:

I believe with you that you can do this. Don’t give up.

Perhaps I can be that person for you.