Catriona Futter – Equip For Life Coaching Becoming your best self and living life to the full – 07713 974138

Category Archives: Making Change Possible

Ever feel that you’ll never change? Well change is possible, and starts with understanding yourself and what your motives are, and believing that you can do and be more.

Combating busyness challenge Part 2

what is capturing and draining your time?

How much of your time is spent on seemingly urgent things that are really not that important? How often does your day seem to disappear down the sinkhole of time passed and you look down into that black hole and see your good intentions spinning rapidly round and round into that vortex and you wonder what on earth just happened? On our quest to combat busyness and re-frame how we see time, I want to challenge you this week to think about what the time-drainers are in your life. This is the germ of an idea I am exploring – looking in short, sharp bursts at specific issues that characterise your life currently, and allowing that to prompt change or reprioritising. Last week I encouraged you to list 10 things that really matter to you. These could be seen as time-enrichers: they add value, worth, fulfilment to life and allow us to do the same in the lives of others. This week, I challenge you to look at the opposite – write down 10 things that consume your time but are not important. This could include anything – things that drain your time and energy, mundane stuff that has to get done but somehow seems to take over, rabbit-holes down which you trot but which ultimately are pointless. The idea is not to spend long doing this – 10 minute at most – but to go with your gut, your instincts. You could then take it a little bit further, and pick one of the things off that list and either choose to eliminate it, or limit the time you take on it. As before, I’d love your feedback on this –I imagine that there would be similar things on some of our lists, and it is good to know we are not alone! And more next week.  

Combating busyness challenge part 1

How do you use time?      Do you always feel busy and rushed, with no sense of fulfilment or peace? Here is an idea to get you focused on what is really important in your life. Over the next few weeks, I am going to challenge you to think about things in several specific categories that might then allow you to identify where some changes could be made to enable you to live a more fulfilling life. I don’t have all the answers (sorry!) but over the last few weeks as I have been thinking about the whole concept of busyness and how we use our time, an idea is starting to emerge that might prompt you to find the solutions within yourself. It involves very little time, should be fun, and can be as significant for you as you choose to make it. It seems that everywhere I look at the moment, people are writing or talking about busyness and lack of time. In the recent entirely-non-scientific poll I did, this issue of lack of time and never getting anywhere was top of the list of challenges people are facing. We can never stop or slow down time, but we can change the way we see and use time, and potentially learn to steward it better. So to start you off, take a few minutes out of your busyness and write down 10 things that really matter to you in life. It can be anything – the question is deliberately huge, but that is the point. For you, right now, sitting at your computer, what is most important in your life? Could be anything, big or small, immediate or more long term, could be people or character traits, places or things. But boil it down to 10 things that, without which, your life would be much the poorer. Keep the list – there will be more to add over the next few weeks, and some more ideas of what to do with the information as you are collating it. But just for today, let this simply open your eyes to what really matters in your life and in a small way, start to shift the focus.

For my idea to work, I really need to know what you think, and how you find doing this – so once you have made your list, I’d love you to share one thing on it. And there is more to come next week! 

Fully living and living full-y

May 2013 013       Spring is on the way, and everywhere around there is the budding, bubbling prospect of new life blossoming and blooming. Hooray and hooray again you hear me exuberantly exclaim! I am very much an outside person, love light, love sunshine, love the warmth (why oh why am I living in Glasgow I often ask myself!) and like many of us, by this time of year, am pretty desperate for some sunshine and light after a long, dark winter.

Along with all this newness and freshness comes a thought, in tandem with last week’swhat makes you feel fully alive?

Everywhere around is new life, but is that true for you in your life? Are there fresh ideas, fresh inspiration, fresh challenges and dreams this year, or is it all a bit stale, a bit same-y, a bit stuck-on-the-same-old-conveyor-belt?

Think with me a minute about the last time you felt fully alive – where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with? And then think about how many of those elements you could incorporate into your every-day-life? It might be about investing more in your nearest-and-dearest, those whose friendships really enrich you and with whom you connect at a soul level.

Perhaps actually getting out there and putting into practice that long held dream, whatever size it is. Perchance you could explore something new for you, tapping into the creative person that you know you are deep down inside, but which might not be given voice very often.

I believe we are on this planet to live life to the full, and yet so often it seems like we live a two dimensional, monochrome version of what could be multicoloured, vibrant, life giving and life affirming.

So when you next see a wee bud on a tree or bush, or the friendly faces of some new lilies of the valley, stop and ask yourself what you could do or change about your life to bring into it that new-spring-alive fullness?

Choosing to love not regret.

DSCF5885        Imagine reaching the end of your life and looking back – what would cause you the greatest regret? That might not be a very cheery thought for Valentine’s day, a day on which we are encouraged to think about our nearest-and-dearest and celebrate love in all its many forms. But perhaps that is exactly why today of all days (if we can get past the commercialism) is the ideal day to think about how our life choices impact on those we love. It is an oft trotted out cliche that on our death bed it is unlikely we will wish we had spent more time at the office. But knowing this, recognising where there might need to be changes made, and then actually MAKING those changes is another story, and much more difficult. Last week’s poll of challenges for this year may have started you thinking, along with the New Year new you food for thought. The first step to making positive change in life is to recognise where you are starting from – being aware of what your life is like at the moment. The next step is painting a picture of where and what you want your life to be, as this can start to inspire you towards your goal of not having those regrets at the end of your life. Inevitably there will be a gap between where you are now and where you want to be, and that middle bit is where the fun starts – starting to make small, achievable changes to every day choices you make that will gradually lead you to where you want to be. For me, my first step is to choose to affirm my nearest-and-dearest today, and at least once every day for some specific and positive thing I love and value about them. What will you choose to do that will ensure you do not get to the end of your life full of regrets? 

 

Becoming your best self – new year challenge No. 4

Becoming your best self – that is what I am PASSIONATE about for you! But what does that actually mean? And how do you go about living your best life? It is all well and good for me to say that excites me, but it could be seen as quite a vague and woolly concept. So how about these for some questions to get you thinking:

 What is most important to you?            May 2013 012

What do the choices you make say about what is most important to you? Choices about what you do with your 

  • time
  • money
  • energy
  • body
  • friendships
  • family

Does the way you live your life and the choices you make reflect what is most important to you? If not – and there is no right or wrong with this, most of us are on a continuum between ideal and disastrous in how we make choices – then maybe having a coach help you understand the motives behind your choices, and make ones that enable you to live your best life is something that might help. I would love to help you do that….did I mention that I am passionate about your being your best self?! Get in touch and we can explore this  more.

 

New year, same difference?

CNV00021 - Copy

If you could make a difference in this life, what would you do? That’s this week’s beginning-of-a-new-year thought to get you chewing on. We’re all aware of amazing individuals like the late Nelson Mandela who made a staggering difference to the world in many ways, and who is hugely inspiring. Of course, we are not all going to make a difference on quite that scale – but that in no way should allow us to dismiss who we are and what we can do as insignificant. How would you start discovering what difference you want to make in the coming year? In your lifetime? Do you know what your strengths are, what you are good at, what you are passionate about? What really sets you on fire, inspires or motivates you, gets you really riled up? Each of us in many ways, big and small, can make a difference to those around us – be it doing Random Acts of Kindness, going the extra mile or choosing a different path, getting involved in something that ticks all your boxes.When we know and embrace who we are and what we are good at, and understand what we are passionate about and motivated to do, then wow – exciting times and exciting opportunities to make a difference!

Got you thinking? Like to explore more of this, or stuck knowing how to proceed? Working with you to encourage you to know who you are and how you can make a difference is what I am passionate about! Get in touch and we can make a difference together.

New year, new version of you?

 

Christmas and New Year 2013 into 14 010   If you could improve one thing in your life right now, what would it be? More time with your nearest-and-dearest? A little bit more exercise? Connecting more with life-enhancing friends? A new skill or more time for a hobby? A more positive mindset? A wee bit more fun and nonsenseShifting that never-decreasing pile of paperwork?

Maybe your life is just as you would like it to be, in which case, much to be thankful for and celebrate! Maybe there is a sense of lack of balance between what is important and what is urgent.  Maybe life is fine but not being lived to the full, not full-filling. Maybe there is something missing – if so, can you put your finger on what it is? 

How would you go about putting in the missing bits, or pruning back the clutter that takes up space? This can be tricky – where to start, what is really important, what is missing? And sometimes making changes on your own can feel a bit like trying to walk with your shoe laces tied together – hard work, frustrating, teeny steps with lots of falling over, often eventually giving up because progress is so minimal. But one of the exciting things about coaching is having someone be your Number 1 fan through the process, cheering you on, helping you work out where you are going and then encouraging you and inspiring you to get there.

   Does that sound like something you, or someone you know, would benefit from?

Get in touch and we can untie those shoe laces and make real progress.

 

 

New year, same clutter?

How cluttered is your life? Can you see the wood for the trees?

Christmas Day 2013 022         Be it physical, emotional, mental, relational – clutter can drain us, rob us of joy, prevent us living our best lives, prevent us seeing with clarity what is really important, what we want our lives to be about, what our dreams are, who we are created to be. What are you putting off doing, and what are you tolerating? What has bogged you down over the past year? What would your life look like going into this new year if you were free of that which has bogged you down? 

These are not easy questions, and facing the answers to them, and then implementing those changes can seem a huge and daunting task. But small steps, small changes can start to make a big difference over time. The key thing is being aware of your starting point, and that involves your first step – stepping back from life to look objectively at what is going on. This is made much easier with someone alongside you. Do you want to make this year a year of being free of some of the clutter that overtook last year? Get in touch and we can start exploring how to de-clutter together! 

 

Fulfilling a small dream part 2

Feb 2013 030

So this week saw another milestone in my life – following a trip to the dentist, I had a filling, the first for many years. Hardly a big wow, I know. But for me, this is fairly significant, not because of having to have a filling (not thrilled with that bit, generally try to look after my teeth) but because I am, as described by my very good dentist friend, Dentally Anxious. To put it mildly, I hate going to the dentist. I have nothing against dentists, and having many years experience being a physiotherapist (AKA physio-terrorist to many), really should be more empathetic to them and their very important work. But horrible memories of years of bad childhood dental experiences have left me super-anxious and jelly-like when in the chair. Pathetic and irrational I know, but there it is. So to be faced with having a cavity filled, right there and then, was a daunting prospect. But, although not exactly fulfilling a dream, it has served to put to rest the irrationality and disproportionate-ness of my fear of all things toothy. The experience was perfectly..nay, not pleasant but acceptable. A jag that was a wee bit nippy, lots of painfree drilling, some prodding and then it was done. Much less horrible than I anticipated, and therefore much less to be feared. And that’s the thing that I have been reflecting on – I had allowed fear, ignorance, and unwillingness to be rational to turn a totally innocuous visit to the dentist into something to be dreaded and put off. We all have fears, often with good reason. But what of those fears that are unfounded, based on historical events, irrational – from my own very small experience in this, there is much to be said for embracing the fear and overcoming it and choosing freedom.

(The photo, by the way, shows what damage a beaver’s teeth can do!)

 

Learning log

Oct 2013, blog 051

After last week’s lesson in how slow I am to learn, I have started wondering about the merit in keeping a learning log. Younger daughter came home from school at the start of this week, and in the course of the usual what-did-you-do-today dialogue (as an aside, curiously the content of this daily conversation seems to be on a spectrum for no obvious reason from “can’t remember” to a minute by minute detailed account…oh to get inside the mind of an 8 year old!) referred to filling in her learning log. Maybe us grown-ups should have one of these – how often do we find ourselves seemingly back to square one in Lessons in Life having been through whatever challenge, made whatever mess, got in whatever pickle it happens to be and then found ourselves at a later date doing exactly the same thing again. Maybe it’s just me – but I suspect not. Maybe if we took to writing down whatever observations we happen to have made about ourselves and others, and the world around us, and occasionally referring back to them, maybe we would recognise that we do have the capacity to learn, change, grow, move on, become more of the version of ourselves that we would like to be. I am not promising any Gold Stars on your log, because this isn’t about getting it right or wrong. But it is about recognising and learning from our mistakes, not being too hard on ourselves, and celebrating the small victories.

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