Catriona Futter – Equip For Life Coaching Becoming your best self and living life to the full – 07713 974138

Category Archives: Live Life Without Regrets

What are you waiting for?

what are you waiting for

Have you ever found yourself with a great idea, but in waiting for the perfect opportunity to take action on the idea, find that time passes, that perfect moment never arises, and your ideas fizzles out and slips off down the sinkhole of never-to-be-dones?

Nothing will happen if you do nothing. And when you get to the end of your life, and look back at all the “what ifs”, what will your reflections be?

We don’t get to where we want to be in life by inactivity, procrastination, reactivity, inertia.

We often have genuine concerns, anxieties, fears about what it is we want to do or try. But until we take that first step – until we do something – we will never know what the outcome will be.

Ask yourself – what is the worst thing that could happen? Then examine the answers to that from all angles, seek wise counsel and support from those you trust, write down all the pros and cons, understand who you are and what you can do, and then – do something.

Take action. Dive in. Make that first move. Be proactive.

Who knows, you might end up flying.

 

How often do you play The Comparisons Game?

comparisons

How often do you play The Comparisons Game?

How often do we play the comparisons game?

You know how it works –

I wish I was more/less like so-and-so

If only I could…..like he/she can

I can’t write/draw/play football/sing/cook/ as well as…….can

I wish I was as handsome/fit/pretty/tall/short/thin as…….

In reflecting back on our lives when we get to the end of them, if we have that luxury, it is unlikely that we will be pleased at the amount of time we spent comparing ourselves with others. Why?

Because it is such a waste of time and energy, and worse, it stops us from being who we are.

This I know from hard experience – for years I believed I was not a creative person and compared myself very unfavourably with those I knew who were at the top of the creative tree. In so doing, I squashed a whole part of myself, and failed to give full expression to much of what I did.

Now, there were two problems here. Firstly, I was looking in the wrong mirror and comparing myself to a completely misplaced image: I had creative as synonymous with artistic. I can’t draw, I really can’t. But that does not mean I am not creative, far from it. Secondly, in labeling myself thus, all I could see was what others could do and what I could not, and in so doing, I minimised my own abilities and reduced my effectiveness in all I did.

Hard work isn’t it?

Being free to see who I am, what I can do, and – in this instance – how I express my creativity – has been so freeing and has expanded my mind.

What about you? Rather than comparing yourself negatively with others around you, today focus instead on who you are, what you can do, and accept and enjoy being yourself. Stop playing the Comparisons Game!

Be a friend or seek a friend?

If-You-Are-Looking-For-A-Friend-Quote-From-Zig-Ziglar

We have been thinking over these past weeks about where we want to be, and who we want to become. This involves accepting ourselves, understanding who we are at our best, and choosing every day to live as that person.

Often we get it wrong.

Often we make mistakes.

But every day we can choose again to be more of who we want to be to those around us.

I came across this quote on friendship and it struck me as being exactly what I have been thinking about – we don’t seek to get, or even do, we seek to be. In being a friend, we gain friends –

our perspective changes

we look at what we can bring of ourselves to the other

we seek to bring out the best in the other

we choose to display more of the best characteristics of ourselves.

This week, who can you be a friend to?

How can you be more of the best of you to your friends?

And how can you seek to bring out the best in those around you?

 

 

Who do you want to be in 5 years time?

The best youWho do you want to be in 5 years time?

Some folk love questions like this, and the chance to wax lyrical about skills development, character growth through study, and self-analysis. To some, such questions smack too much of navel-gazing – after all, we just have to get on with it make the best of whatever lot we happen to have.

But whatever camp you find yourself in, a sure way to stay as you are is to have no clear idea of where you are going. Think of the roles you fulfil every week – career person, friend, partner/spouse, parent, volunteer, chief-cook-and-bottle-washer. Be honest with yourself – are you being the best of you within each role? Using your own unique skills, strengths, personality and experience in combination to bring out the best in whoever is working alongside you?

This is not a guilt trip, but simply a challenge to become more of the best of you, and to grow rather than accept change is impossible and stay stuck. None of us are ever going to have this completely sorted. But we can always grow, always learn, always say thank you and sorry quicker. If you don’t believe me, think back to who you were 5 or 10 years ago – what your character was like then. My guess is that some of the rough edges have been knocked off, but if you are anything like me, there is a way to go!

The question of who you want to be in 5 years can seem too vague, and impossible to grasp in concrete terms. And who has time to contemplate such matters?

But my challenge this week is, do you have time not to? Let me put it this way:

Imagine you are being introduced to a large group of people who do not know you by your spouse, partner, or a very close friend. What would you want that person to say about what you are like as a partner or friend?

Or in the same situation, by a colleague? Or your children? Or a member of your family?

Visualise them describing you in as much detail as you can – their tone of voice, degree of animation, choice of adjectives. What common themes come out of each narrative that describe and build a picture of your character? And perhaps more uncomfortably what would you not want them to say about you?

This is your starting point. Let some of these ideas mull around for the next week, and we will develop them further next time as we work together to grow into whoever we are going to be in 5 years time.

Fulfiling a (small) dream

Last week I ticked something off my bucket list. We were on holiday (hence the blogging silence) and as part of the new me, did a couple of longer runs along the most glorious of beaches. This particular beach is one of my most favourite places in the world, a really beautiful part of East Scotland, stunning scenery and lots of weather (well it is Scotland!).

I have always dreamed of being able to run along the beach, and came over all Eric Liddell…..well, the only similarity was the running part, I certainly ain’t going to win any Olympic medals, but hey, it’s good to be inspired. It was a small achievement, not life changing for me let alone anyone else, but it was something I had dreamed of, and have now done, and I am relishing the fulfillment.

We all have dreams, large and small, that are part of our unique design. But oApril 2011 - 8th 057ften life gets in the way or squashes those dreams out of us, and that can diminish who we are.

What is on your dream list? What could you have go at fulfiling this week? Who encourages you in your dreams? 

 

 

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