Catriona Futter – Equip For Life Coaching Becoming your best self and living life to the full – 07713 974138

The power of letting go – choosing to forgive.

Thinking back over thLetting gois past week, how many people have you hurt, intentionally or not?

Wham – that got your attention.

Let’s get stuck right in this week, no beating about the bush.

To how many of those people have you apologised?

Another thought – how many people have hurt you – through what they have or have not said or done?

In lasts week’s blog, I talked about the importance of choosing to say sorry. To swallow pride, and let go of fear and instead choose humble courage  in making that first move towards restoration of a hurt relationship. Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness is hard. But this the route back to reconciliation and healing, no matter how trivial or monumental the original wrong.

But when we are on the receiving end of hurt, that creates a whole different situation.

Someone causes us real pain through an unkind word, a betrayal, a lack of understanding, a thoughtless act. If that person comes to us to apologise and seek forgiveness, we have it in us to release them and – crucially – release ourselves from the impasse created.

The problem lies when there is no apology forthcoming, especially if it appears that the other person is gloriously oblivious to the hurt they have caused us and seem to be going about their life quite free whilst we are trapped in seething hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness, rage.

Not a pretty picture is it.

Think back again over the past week, and the people who have hurt you in some way. Now imagine the cumulative impact of each hurt building on the last. Hurt on hurt, crushing and constricting your very soul, leaving no space for hope or freedom or happiness.

As someone (there is debate about who) once famously said,

Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

I have spoken about this before, and will no doubt do so again.

Because I, like you, am a very flawed human with a short memory for the important lessons in life. It is easy to nurse our hurts because it allows us to feel justified in thinking or speaking ill of the one who hurt us. We want them to have their just desserts and for everyone else to know how much we have been wronged.

But we have power to choose – to choose to let go and thus choose release, peace and freedom. It may not bring about restoration of the relationship because we can only be responsible for ourselves and our own reactions.

There is so much more that could be said about this – as a coach, my role is in part to help people take stock of where they are and move forward to where they want to be, and that sometimes involves identifying hurts and letting go of both them and the person responsible. This is a complex and difficult process, and not one to be taken lightly.

I feel the weight of this as I write, as I think back on the week that has past.

Because what strikes me most forcibly about the central importance of letting go of hurts and forgiving the responsible party is this –

Life is too short and people are too precious.

In another week of horrific world wide events that have suddenly and shockingly cut short the lives of many, it seems such a staggering waste of time and energy to hold a grudge. And such a tragedy when people are suddenly lost to us without reconciliation.

Don’t wait to forgive someone and let go of that hurt. Life is short and unpredictable, and both you and they are too important and too precious.

Inspired? Encouraged? Get in touch!

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