Catriona Futter – Equip For Life Coaching Becoming your best self and living life to the full – 07713 974138

Wanting what we have

The secret to happiness lies not in getting what we want but in wanting what we have.

This is what was challenging me last week, and that little phrase keeps going round in my mind. It’s implications are huge, not least in how I view time and what I do with my time. The weeks seem to be hurtling past at an astonishing rate, and it isn’t just us ancients that observe that – Elder daughter commented last Friday that it felt like the previous Monday only a few minutes before. Wanting what you haveNow I love Spring, and am delighted to see all the fabulous spring flowers cheering the place up – the crocuses in our local park seem especially vibrant and animated with the joy of lighter, longer days.

But I am also aware of voices around me of those wanting more time to combat the insidious and perpetual busyness with which we all live. Mine included at times.

In considering the secret to happiness as being the skill of wanting what we have, I fear that we are at risk of missing out on happiness because we are so busy thinking about the next thing that we don’t enjoy the present thing.

We all live with responsibilities, commitments, and pressures – paid or unpaid work, family and friends, social commitments, routines and mundanities, illness and unexpected crop-ups. But we also all have choice and we all have the ability to chose to enjoy what we are doing in the present.

What robs us of happiness in the present moment?

Regret of what we haven’t done

fear of what we might not get a chance to do

worry about what we are going to do next

brains filled with organising and planning the next thing.

I know I can be guilty of this, and have to stop, catch myself before I turn into grumpy psycho mum, and make a conscious effort to ask myself

  • why am I so distracted by what is next?
  • what is stopping me enjoying what I am doing now?
  • how have I got myself into this situation – am I overcommitted, over ambitious, losing sight of my boundaries?
  • and – of course – what is most important here?

There can be many reasons why we are not enjoying the moment – a difficult job or relationship situation, illness, repetitive non-stimulation, boredom.

But when it becomes the norm to live constantly preoccupied with the next thing, with little joy in the present thing, that robs us of happiness and keeps us blind to wanting what we have – what we have, right here and right now.



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