Catriona Futter – Equip For Life Coaching Becoming your best self and living life to the full – 07713 974138

To Change ourselves? Change the way we see.

For the past few weeks, we have been working our way tentatively through a series of common lies about Relationships. Insidious views and beliefs that oh-so-commonly work their way into our internal scripts, and express themselves in our behaviour towards our partners.

Change the way we see

Change the way we see

With all of these lies, there is no quick fix. No easy or magic solution. And as we have discussed before, the key is awareness. It is only when we understand what is going on that we can start to make changes.

Awareness of ourselves and our partners is so important. To consider such issues as –

  • we are different and therefore will have different attitudes, beliefs, personalities and characteristics. This is so staggeringly obvious, and yet how often do we make allowances for our differences when it comes to our behaviour responses?
  • it is wrong to assume that our way of thinking or doing something is the best and only way
  • we become more rounded, complex individuals when we are prepared to be challenged about our black and white right/wrong views and see another perspective.

This, I believe is key –

We can only start to change ourselves when we change the way we see.

So, for these final two instalments, let’s recap the lies we have covered, and apply that principle to each one. Perhaps in so doing, we can challenge ourselves to take that first step towards making positive, relationship-enhancing changes.

Relationship Lie No 1: The problems we are having in our relationship are all my partner’s fault.

  • what does that say about how I see myself?
  • if I took the courage and objectivity to see myself as my partner does, how would the way I see myself change?
  • what might that then prompt me to do in terms of what I take responsibility for?
  • what could I choose to do to address my own behaviour towards my partner?

Relationship Lie No 2: A great relationship with the right person should be easy.

  • what are my expectations of our relationship?
  • what if I change the way I see our relationship and have more realistic expectations?
  • if I change the way I view the relationship and how much it means to me, how does that change my willingness to work hard at it?

We only start to change ourselves when we change the way we see. What does that mean for you this week?

Inspired? Encouraged? Get in touch!

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