Catriona Futter – Equip For Life Coaching Becoming your best self and living life to the full – 07713 974138

I have confidence in ….me?

What abilities of yours are you confident in?

Do you wish you were more confident?

Another oft-cited deathbed regret, this follows on from the discussion of the comparisons game – when we learn to accept who we are and what we can do, and start to live as that person, we gain confidence in being ourselves. If we are constantly wishing we were something or someone we aren’t, not only will we not be free to be ourselves, but our confidence in our own abilities will be rock bottom simply because we do not believe in our own abilities.

I am not advocating misplaced confidence, cockiness or arrogant pride in ourselves. Not good, any of those.

Being aware of who we are and the strengths and skills we have

is key to enable us to do what we do best.

I say this often to people in my work as a life coach, and it can involve something of a mindset shift. We generally are quite hard on ourselves, and can be downright dismissive of our own abilities. Particularly us Scots. But as we start to understand who we are and what we can do, and put those skills and characteristics to good use, our confidence grows.

Equally, as we gain confidence in what we can do, and understand and accept ourselves, we can also grow in confidence and acceptance of what we can’t do. That sounds a bit odd, but there are two elements to this.

Firstly, trying something completely different that we wouldn’t normally do and stepping way out of our comfort zone can be exhilarating and great for our confidence. Elder daughter cites abseiling down a cliff as a key achievement in her short life. She doesn’t like heights, and was very nervous about stepping – literally – off a cliff. But with good tuition and great support from friends she did it. And her confidence soared.

Secondly, when we are confident in what we can do it is easier to be accepting of what we can’t and that provides a great opportunity to build someone else’s confidence:

“I can do this part of this project/task/exercise/event but I don’t have these …..skills. However, you are great at this – would you do this part, and show me and teach me as you go?”

What a gift to boost someone else’s confidence as well as positioning ourselves to graciously learn something new.

What difference would being more confident make to you?



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